Phone booths have become an endangered species on the brink of extinction due to a global pandemic of the infectious disease that is cell phone use. But phone booths are so useful! Here are some of the main reasons to keep them around:
They help you transform from your nerdy office worker self to your superhero self. And vice versa.
They help you get to the Ministry of Magic without flushing yourself down a toilet.
They help you travel through space and time. Though to be fair, only specific types of phone booths are this versatile.
They help Keanu Reeves travel through time with George Carlin as his guide. Oh, and uh, that blonde dude that plays Bill.
They help Keanu Reeves get out of the Matrix and back to reality in a hurry. Trinity & pals too.
They help Colin Farrell avoid getting sniped (snipen? snope?) by Kiefer Sutherland. Wait. Maybe this is a con, not a pro…
Plus, phone booths are much less likely to break or lose service than cell phones. And you don’t have to remember your damn charger to keep them functioning. You cannot drop a phone booth into a toilet, no matter how many adult beverages you consume. They also give you an excuse for calling and speaking to someone with your actual human voice instead of texting words that can be misunderstood when read in the receiver’s mental voice.
Maybe they’ll be replaced by secure, touch screen computer booths. But without these lovely booths of phone, I guess I’ll just continue bugging strangers to borrow their cell phones when mine inevitably runs out of energy too soon or gets left on a counter somewhere.
For any small, confused children who happened upon this blog: Phone booths are ancient artifacts similar to fax machines, video & cassette tapes, and pagers. You may have seen them in your local museum or read about them in history class. For more information, use your cell phone to call your grandparents. Or consult your best friends, Google & Wikipedia.