In Defense of Phone Booths

Phone booths have become an endangered species on the brink of extinction due to a global pandemic of the infectious disease that is cell phone use. But phone booths are so useful! Here are some of the main reasons to keep them around:

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They help you transform from your nerdy office worker self to your superhero self. And vice versa.

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They help you get to the Ministry of Magic without flushing yourself down a toilet.

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They help you travel through space and time. Though to be fair, only specific types of phone booths are this versatile.

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They help Keanu Reeves travel through time with George Carlin as his guide. Oh, and uh, that blonde dude that plays Bill.

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They help Keanu Reeves get out of the Matrix and back to reality in a hurry. Trinity & pals too.

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They help Colin Farrell avoid getting sniped (snipen? snope?) by Kiefer Sutherland. Wait. Maybe this is a con, not a pro…

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Plus, phone booths are much less likely to break or lose service than cell phones. And you don’t have to remember your damn charger to keep them functioning. You cannot drop a phone booth into a toilet, no matter how many adult beverages you consume. They also give you an excuse for calling and speaking to someone with your actual human voice instead of texting words that can be misunderstood when read in the receiver’s mental voice.

Maybe they’ll be replaced by secure, touch screen computer booths. But without these lovely booths of phone, I guess I’ll just continue bugging strangers to borrow their cell phones when mine inevitably runs out of energy too soon or gets left on a counter somewhere.

For any small, confused children who happened upon this blog: Phone booths are ancient artifacts similar to fax machines, video & cassette tapes, and pagers. You may have seen them in your local museum or read about them in history class. For more information, use your cell phone to call your grandparents. Or consult your best friends, Google & Wikipedia.

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2 thoughts on “In Defense of Phone Booths

  1. Nice…
    Just hope that an Austrian bodybuilder isn’t around to lift the phone booth over his fucking head and fling it, thereby killing your chance to make that important phone call.

    • Ah crap, I hadn’t thought of that! I guess phone booths can be dangerous. They can also trap you in a glass case of emotion after your dog gets punted off a bridge…

      But they helped John McClane answer riddles with the aid of Samuel L. Jackson. And Ritchie Valens used a phone booth to woo Donna with his music.

      Just don’t be impatient like Fred Stoller & yell at someone using the booth to get off the phone. They might just punch you straight through the glass.

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